


Shock and Awe

by fluffy_miracle (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cage memories, Canon Divergence from season 11, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Rape Recovery, Sabriel - Freeform, Slow Burn, past imprisonment, touch starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-26 16:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7582357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/fluffy_miracle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>canon-divergence from the episode before the season 11 finale. Everyone's alive and happy, but not really. Metatron had one ace left up his sleeve and it's the key to Gabriel's whereabouts, you know, the Gabriel he had captured and imprisoned. </p><p>Sam is haunted and hunted by Lucifer in the place he now calls home, but is too busy worrying about Dean, Castiel, God, and everyone else to take care of himself.</p><p>Gabriel though, Gabriel is a gamechanger. Especially when Sam can see everything he wants reflected back in those golden eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cucoo4cas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cucoo4cas/gifts).



"So get this, Metatron, before he got all noble and sacrificed himself for the cause, left a map of sorts behind in the car." Sam waved a battered, dirty notebook in the air before tossing it down on the table.

"And we care why?" Dean raised his eyebrows, leaning back in his chair. Boots were stacked on top of each other as he placed his feet on the war table.

"There's a clue written in Latin, something about the 'last ace up his sleeve.' The rest is all in some sort of Enochian code. I was going to ask Chuck to translate it." Sam smoothed his hair back. Dean sort of hated how open and trusting Sam was of the guy who was really God. He was glad Sam could still have his faith though, even after John, Azazel, and all the other shit they went through. Maybe Dean just hated how he had given up. He had tossed the Samulet away without realizing that Sam had almost the same amount of faith in him. Dean didn't know how Sam did it.

"Here, let me see." Lucifer reached over, but Cas smacked his hands away.

"May I, Dean?" Cas asked, fingers resting on the cover. Dean shrugged.

"I still don't see why it's important to us." He stated his opinion although he was outnumbered by all the curious faces around the table. Dean was the only one who didn't want to know Meta-douche's famous last words were. Sure the guy sacrificed himself, but he was still not on Dean Winchester's good list. One good deed and all...

"If Metatron left it behind, it's probably valuable." Cas spoke up. He had changed considerably since Lucifer's possession. He was louder then quieter, fragile almost. He interacted mostly with Dean although he sought Sam out when he needed another friend. Castiel was off balance, unsure, jumpy. He flipped through the pages and tossed it back with a sigh. "And I have no idea what it says." The admittance was heavy as if Cas felt like it was a personal failure on his part. Dean had confided to Sam that Cas felt his mistakes in the past heavily: failures that weighed him down.

"Don't beat yourself up, Cas." Sam spoke up when it became clear that Dean would rather drink his beer than help Castiel with his self-esteem. 

"Yea, 'Cas.'" Lucifer smirked, sliding the notebook away from the seraph. "Let big brother try." There was no real heat in Lucifer's words. He just never seemed to be able to communicate in a manner that wasn't scathing, derisive, or patronizing. Sam wasn't entirely sure why they were still housing that particular archangel or God for that matter, but he didn't complain too much. He had managed to get his room back. It was only a few minutes before the archangel muttered a 'whatever' to himself and shoved the notebook back in the middle.

"Can I try?" Chuck materialized across the way from him, Lucifer stuck out his tongues in response. 

"I only got one word out of it, so sure."

"What word was that?" Sam pounced on that scrap of information. Lucifer rolled his eyes at the eagerness Sam so easily displayed, but he answered the hunter anyway.

"It was 'archangel,' little good that does us now."

"Actually..." Chuck's voice trembled. "It still might be good to us, especially with getting heaven back in order. This is saying that Gabriel is alive and where we can find him." Shock was evident in Chuck's light blue eyes as he stared into Lucifer's shocked blue eyes in turn. Lucifer was the first to recover, laughing to hide how startled he had been.

"That bastard is alive? Well, I guess he had one last trick left in him." Lucifer shook his head slowly, dragging his fingertips over the top of the table. "Little traitor."

"Don't talk about him like that." Chuck spoke up. "He is an archangel of the Lord, not a pagan trickster." The disappointment in Chuck's voice was almost tangible. Sam almost felt as if John was back, talking to him in that same tone. No wonder they all had Daddy issues.

"Could have fooled me." Dean spoke up, ignoring Chuck's glare as he took another swig of his beer. "Glad he made it though since he saved our hides back at that hotel from hell. Not glad there's a chance he could be joining our commune." Dean had always liked Gabriel's style before he had turned out to be a little less of a dick with wings who always looked at Sam a little too long for Dean's comfort.

"If this was a commune, people would be doing their fair share of work, Dean." Sam shot his brother 'the look.' Ever since Amara, Dean had been off his game. It was like he was grieving. And Sam knew Dean was glad she wasn't destroying the world, but there was still a part of Dean that was mourning her. Sam just didn't know how much of Dean was mourning her. 

Sam traced the spot in his arm where the Mark had been, not realizing he was doing so until Lucifer gave him a knowing look. Sam hated that look. Lucifer glanced at him a lot. Sure, there was history there, years and years of torture and abuse without so much of an apology. Sam still had a nightmare on occasion. Chuck knew. Sam knew he knew, but Chuck had neither said anything or done anything... Sam wasn't going to ask. Who was he to ask anything of God?

Now Chuck was giving him a look as well as Castiel.

"Why is everyone staring at Sammy?" Dean asked.

"He's thinking too damn loud." Lucifer griped and Sam glared. Dean knew Sam was still on edge around Lucifer. He didn't know why; he didn't want to know why. His own time in hell was better off forgotten. Castiel turned his head so sharply that Dean worried for a moment it might snap.

"I saved you." It was the harshest Cas had spoken to him in years. "I'd do it again. You are not allowed to ever dwell there again!"

"Sounds good by me, Cas." And oh, fuck, the angel was inches away from him now, an unsure hand firmly gripping his arm. Dean didn't mean to lean into the touch, but ever since that damn thing with Amara, it was like he was broken. "No, you're not." Castiel squinted at him with those blue eyes. Amara had broken walls in Dean, against his will, but still. He missed the honesty she forced out of him. Sometimes he wished...

"Interesting..." Lucifer leaned forward. "If I had known this was going to be a pity party, I would have provided better snacks." He cast a casual look over at Sam, smiling as the taller man trembled. "I hope you caught that Castiel because neither of us are going to repeat it."

"Is that truly way at you want?" Cas's gaze had softened and his grip was less demanded though no less present. Dean started to nod before realizing what he was admitting.

"Is everyone going to forget that Gabriel is still trapped somewhere and we now know where to find him?" Sam snatched the book up. "Who knows what Metatron did to him." Same was afraid Cas and Lucifer were picking up on Dean's moping for Amara. He didn't want to hear how Dean missed her or how he wished he could have had the balls to finish her off. Sam still had a fear that Dean would find a way to leave Sam to be with her. It didn't matter if she was suddenly stable, balancing the universe with her big bro.

"You two should do it." Lucifer leveled a look on the pair of hunters. "You care more than we do and he'll hate you less for rescuing him. He'd just hate me more."

"Stabbing your brother can have that effect." Sam quipped, unable to fully meet Lucifer's gaze once the archangel lowered his gaze onto Sam. Chuck watched the exchange, but said nothing before he vanished.

A few moments later he returned with another archangel in his arms, this one barely recognizable. Lucifer started, staring at Gabriel like he was a ghost. Gabriel probably was a ghost for Lucifer to see. 

"Here." Sam rushed over to help Chuck who gave up his son easily. Sam carried Gabriel over to a leather chair that Chuck had pushed in a few days earlier. "Hey." He said somewhat nervously as Gabriel opened up his eyes. "It's, uh, good to see you." Dean could have sworn he saw a blush on Sam's cheeks, but then Castiel stepped forward to check on Gabriel too, and well, Dean could think of one specific reason why he was glad Cas had ditched the trench coat and put on jeans. He held his breath, waiting for Lucifer to make a snide comment since that asshole entertained himself by broadcasting everyone's private thoughts. However, Lucifer was still staring at Gabriel.

Gabriel peered around Sam, focusing in on Chuck who was avoiding his younger son at all costs.

"Fuck you." Gabriel spat over before he started coughing. It was a painful coughing fit for everyone within hearing. Gabriel didn't even blink at the blood splattered on the back of his dirty arm. He wiped his mouth, smearing blood over his lips. Sam's fingers twitched before he left to retrieve a wet washcloth for the rescued archangel. "Fuck you." Gabriel continued, this time addressing Lucifer. "Hell, even fuck you two." He pointed to Dean and Cas with a shaking finger. Sam handed him the washcloth and he just stared at it before raising his face to take all of Sam in. "You, however, I'd fuck you if I knew it'd piss him off." That indignant look was back on Chuck's face. Sam gaped for a moment before shutting his mouth and hurrying over to the other side of the room.

"Too late, Gabey, Dad's fucked more guys than you." Lucifer finally broke the silence. He pushed back his chair and strode over to his brother. "You're looking a little rough there." Lucifer said out loud what they were all thinking. Gabriel's eyes flared ever so slightly, and Lucifer tsked. "You're not looking so hot inside either. Oh, your wings." He reached forward and Gabriel slapped his hand. Lucifer just grinned before scooping his brother up. "If you all will excuse us." And then they both were gone. Dean cursed and Sam looked to Chuck who just shrugged and snapped his leather chair clean.

"Can you find them, Cas?" Sam asked, but Cas didn't answer, a dazed look on his face. "Cas?" Sam reached over and Cas flinched.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I can't help."

It was dinner time, Dean was cooking burgers, when Gabriel and Lucifer returned. The younger archangel was clean and more upright than he had been earlier. 

"Sorry, I can't fix your grace." Lucifer murmured as they entered the kitchen.

"You're the one who broke it." There was no forgiveness in Gabriel's tone or expression as he stumbled his way into the kitchen. He put a hand out on the wall to steady himself, breathing hard.

"Look, these are good people. I'm sure they'll help you out." Dean's eyes met Lucifer's, older brothers exchanging glares. There was no way Gabriel was moving in with what he had said about Sam. "He's human, half-wit." Lucifer sneered. "He's gonna need a place to crash to get his bearings since he's too proud to ask Daddy for help."

"I don't need anyone's help." Gabriel pulled free of his brother and tottered over to the counter, leaving on it heavily. "I just need to heal. It seems there's a lot of things you can't do."

"Either you guys leave or I will." Dean spoke up. "I'm done with playing counselor to you dicks."

"We could find Sam." Lucifer suggested with a sly look at Dean. "I'm sure he'd love to play doctor of sorts with us." Dean pulled his gun out and focused it on the two archangels. 

"You two stay away from Sam. I've got melted down angel blade bullets in here." He cocked his gun. "Thought I suppose I could just use regular ones on you now." He gestured towards Gabriel who flinched.

"Got it." Gabriel grumbled. "Sam's off limits." He made his way out of the kitchen, limping, leaning against the wall. Lucifer was close behind, too close. Dean turned, grabbed his beer and took a long drink, turning back to his burgers that were sizzling on the stovetop. 

"Hey!" Gabriel stumbled towards the wall as Sam walked towards him. "You're up! How are you feeling?" He bent down, trying to be face-level, concern evident in his eyes as he squeezed Gabriel's arm.

"Leave me alone." Gabriel mumbled even though he was leaning into the firm grasp on his arm. His senses weren't fully human, but mostly human. Sam was grounding in all the confusion. He was registering Sam as safe just by those large puppy dog eyes. Sam released Gabriel's arm like he had been burned.

"Sorry." Hurt flashed across Gabriel's brain, Sam's hurt was registering in the angelic senses that were slowly losing their function. Gabriel wanted to say something, he wanted to tell Sam that it was Dean and that Gabriel couldn't risk getting killed or captured again. But he didn't say anything. He just watched Sam slip away and down the hall, scratching at his chest that suddenly felt all the more hollow.

"Sam." Gabriel whispered, forgetting that Lucifer was still behind him. His brother cackled and Gabriel went back to trying to walk. 

"Gabriel's being weird." Sam lamented to Dean in the kitchen. He had taken a beer and had already drank half of it. Dean watched him, perplexed by the troubled vibe Sam was giving off. He was acting strange.

"They're all being weird." Dean sniffed. The burgers were almost done and that meant Castiel was going to appear next to him at any second. That thought alone made him feel jittery and excited. He was nervous, but eager. Castiel had an odd, calming effect on him when he was around despite how antsy Dean was beforehand.

"You think he thinks I'm still an abomination like Cas used to?" Dean was confused by why Sam was worried about what Gabriel of all people thought of him. "He won't talk to me or anything."

"Guy's human: remember how weird Cas was when he fell?"

"Yea." Sam still looked like someone had drowned his puppy. "Wait, Gabriel's human?"

"That's what Lucifer said."

"And he can obviously be trusted." Sam snarked. His beer was gone and the glass bottle was being clenched in his hand.

"Just say the word and he's gone. I can't wait to get rid of the whole batch."

"Even me, Dean?" Castiel folded his arms across his chest, blue eyes glowering. "I wish you would say something if my presence is so burdensome."

"I was talking about your family, not you." Dean shot back. "You're one of us and you know it." Castiel shrank back, nodding his head even though doubt was still in his blue eyes.

"Of course." A rustle and Castiel was gone.

"Okay, I'm right, Sam, they're all being weird." Dean threw his hands up in the air, turning back to his burgers. "Grab me another beer."

"Sorry." Sam burped. "We're out." Dean sighed. "There's another case in the garage, I'll get it." Sam got up and lumbered out. He bumped past the war room/dining room where the awkward family was. Gabriel was sunken down in the chair that Sam had been sitting in before all this happened. He looked so small. Sam looked down at his hands, wondering why they were shaking. "Gabriel." Sam called out softly. It didn't look like any other angels were in the room; maybe Gabriel had been weird earlier because Lucifer had been around. Lucifer made Sam weird too. "Gabriel."

"What?" It was sharp, but not sharp enough for Sam to back off. The former archangel's head raised and he met Sam's eyes about as warily as a rabbit looks at a hound. "You wanna get back at me for Mystery Spot?" He spread his arms. "Take your shot."

"I just wanted to see if you were okay." Sam leaned against the door. "I'm getting some beer. You want any?" Gabriel shook his head.

"No to both, Samsquatch." 

"You need anything?" Sam stood in the doorway. Gabriel shivered. He didn't want to be mean to Sam. Sam was nice. Sam was safe. Sam was hot. "A blanket? A room?"

"You got a room that Lucifer can't go into?"

"You'd have to share with me." Sam smiled. "He's been banned from my room."

"I bet I know why."

"Well, the playing loud rock music like a surly teenager..." Gabriel laughed and then sobered up, leaning against the chair more."You're in pain."

"Being human sucks." Gabriel grumbled. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been a prisoner for years, but no time to process the human condition. My grace is finally running out."

"I'm sorry." And Sam was. Gabriel shrugged.

"I'll take that blanket."

"Why don't you go lie down, take a nap, and I'll wake you for dinner or save you a plate." Gabriel looked up and nodded.

"Yea. I could sleep." Gabriel found keeping his eyes open was getting harder and harder. 

"You need a lift?" Sam offered, seeing how Gabriel was already starting to droop in his chair, eyes staring off as he started to fall asleep sitting up. Gabriel straightened up, about to refuse, when he saw the vulnerability on Sam's face. Sam expected him to say no, to push him away again. Gabriel had initially bristled. He was so used to doing things for himself before he was captured. Now, now he was broken. He could use the help. He could use the friend, even if he was still scared of what Dean could do.

"Sure." He tried to shrug, but his body sagged back too quickly. Gabriel hated not having full control over everything just yet. "Just don't tell Deano."

"My lips are sealed." Sam was more than happy to not include Dean. His brother did not need to know about the odd soft spot he had for the former archangel he was currently scooping up and carrying in his arms. Gabriel laid his cheek against Sam's shoulder, causing a warmth to bloom inside of Sam. Yea, Sam was never telling Dean any of this. 

Sam carried Gabriel down the hallway, ignoring the raised eyebrows he got from Chuck who was trudging down to his room, coffee cup of whiskey in hand. It didn't make sense that he said he couldn't bring Gabriel back. It didn't make sense that Chuck didn't know where Gabriel was this whole time. The logical side of Sam's brain told him that something wasn't adding up, but he didn't dare go further than that. Despite what Dean thought, Sam's faith wasn't inexhaustible. He wanted to keep what faith he had left.

Gabriel was asleep by the time Sam placed him down on his bed. Sam tucked him in and pulled up a chair. Sam pulled a book out, one that he had put down halfway finished months ago, and started reading. He didn't remember the last time he had the time or the peace to sit down and read for pleasure instead of for research. And then there was Gabriel. Sam didn't want him to wake up to being alone, or worse, to Lucifer. Sam did enough of that for the two of them. That was the only reason he felt protective over Gabriel.

Dean knocked on his door a few minutes later, leaving a tray at the door. Sam made sure Dean had left before retrieving the food. A salad. Dean knew him too well. Dean only made salad when he was worried about Sam. The burger and fries were for Gabriel, but Sam ate a few of the fries while he continued to read his book. He didn't know how Dean knew Gabe was in there, probably Castiel or Chuck, but Sam glad Dean wasn't bothering him about it.

Gabriel woke up twenty minutes later, hungry and cranky. Sam handed over the food without a word, not wanting to ruin the calm he had found. Gabriel had other plans as he shoved French fries into his mouth.

"Why are you being nice to me?" He snapped after a couple minutes of watching Sam read his book. "This is your room, your food. You're sitting with me. Why? What do you want?!" There was a tinge of panic in Gabriel's eyes as he asked about Sam's motivation. Sam had to wonder what he had been through, but he knew now was not the time to ask. Gabriel was nowhere near ready for a heart to heart talk with anyone.

"You came around in the end and helped us." Sam replied. "I wanted to do the same for you."

"You saying this is the end?"

"I hope it isn't. I was thinking this was a brand new beginning." Gabriel calmed down at Sam's answer and wolfed down a huge bite of the burger.

"Hope so. I appreciate you guys letting me crash here for now. I'll be out of your hair in a few days. I just gotta get my bearings."

"You're leaving?" Sam hated how hurt he sounded. Gabriel hated how painful it was to see Sam look so hurt. He couldn't risk it though. Dean had made it clear: stay away from Sam or get a bullet. Gabriel kind of wanted to stay, kind of wanted to see what might happened between them if he stayed. He hadn't had a friend of any kind in a long time.

"Deano made it clear." Gabriel shrugged, looking little in the first bed Sam had that kind of fit him. His feet still hung off, but Gabriel fit perfectly. Just like he fit in Sam's arms. "Dean doesn't want me anywhere near you."

"That's only because you made a comment about sleeping with me. I'm sure if you tell him you were joking."

"Wasn't joking. You're hot." Sam flushed red, heat creeping into his cheeks. Gabriel bit his lip. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have encouraged the way Sam glanced over at him, unsure but wanting. "Dean told me to stay away from you or he'd shoot me." Gabriel shrank back a little when he found himself leaning forward. He felt so vulnerable human. He wanted Sam to hold him or make him mind, anything! Gabriel just needed to feel safe. He'd prefer sex, the only connection he was really comfortable making. He could control that. He couldn't control the way Sam was looking at him, like he was looking for comfort and security as much as Gabriel was. Those kinds of connections were dangerous to make. And for Gabriel, they usually ended with being stabbed with a tinfoil angel blade.

"I'll talk to him." Sam said. "I'm a grown man."

"Sam."

"What? You change your mind?" The agony barely hidden behind those sharp words sting Gabriel. "You want me to leave you along again?" Sam stood up, his chair screeching and his book falling. Gabriel stared at the book, face down, spine spread. Sam was upset. The tall hunter turned to go, hand on the knob when Gabriel finally spoke up. 

"No."

"What?!" Gabriel flinched at the anger directed his way.

"Don't go." He mumbled. He was scared to be alone. Gabriel was scared Lucifer would come back and whisper more things in his ear. 

"You're scared of him." Gabriel didn't have to ask who he meant. 

"So are you. He told me what he did to you." Lucifer had bragged, but Gabriel wasn't going to tell Sam that. He had a feeling Sam already knew.

"Oh." But Sam had sat back down, had scooped the book back up, closed it, and laid it gently in the shelf. Gabriel watched Sam's fingers caress the book's cover, his stomach settling now that Sam wasn't leaving him. He yawned suddenly, feeling the stretching in his cheeks like he might break them. "Sleep." Sam nodded. "I'm not going anywhere."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam and Gabriel didn't talk, Gabriel slept too much for that. Even Sam fell asleep, something he rarely did if anyone but his brother was around. Sam didn't drop his guard often, but he felt like he could with this human version of Gabriel. And it wasn't because Gabriel was weak or human, it was just because this was Gabriel. Sam couldn't even be mad that the archangel had ran away after the showdown with Lucifer, being imprisoned for years had been penance enough, forget losing his grace and all that made him Gabriel in Sam's eyes. He was seeing the real person behind the persona: Sam liked what he saw, he liked him a lot.

As always happened, the little bit of peace Sam had found was completely obliterated by nightmares starring no one's favorite archangel/devil: Lucifer. Sam dreamt he was back in the cage, back being Lucifer's 'bunk buddy' and all that entailed. Sam couldn't move his body as the cage held him still, Lucifer thrust into him and Sam let out a sharp, pained wail... And promptly woke himself up, panting and shuddering, fingers clutching at the arms of his chair, knuckles white. It took him a few, long moments of forcing oxygen in his own lungs before he could even think about calming down. Those dreams were the worst, so vivid that Sam could almost swear to pain below his waist.

A knock sounded at the door and Sam cast wild eyes around the room. He didn't remember turning off the light. He didn't remember falling asleep in his chair. He flicked the light on and checked the warding, making sure Lucifer couldn't enter. He glanced over at the lump in his bed and relaxed, recognizing who was in his room and remembering he had let them in. Gabriel was sitting up, blinking and rubbing his eyes. Sam suddenly realized it was late, too late to be waking up his guest so violently. 

"Who is that?" Gabriel asked, his voice rough with sleep. It was a pleasant sound, something Sam could ground himself with. "Is that Dean?" Sam heard the slight panic at the mention of his older brother. What a pair they were, the both of them terrified by the other's sibling.

"I'll check. It'll be fine." Sam promised, finally getting out of his chair. His legs felt like jelly, but he tried to hide it. He didn't want Gabriel to know about his dreams. Sam unlocked the door, pretty certain he had left it unlocked. Whatever Gabriel needed to feel safe. Sam twisted the door know and pulled it open a crack, enough to come face to face with the subject of all his nightmares.

"Hi, Sam! Can I come in?" Lucifer gave him a toothy grin with that knowing look in his eyes. He always knew when Sam had his nightmares and he always said something about them. It was enough to make a man go crazy. "Wanna make your dream come true?" He bit back a chuckle as Sam slammed the door in his face, hands slipping off the knob as he tried to lock it. Finally, the lock clicked, but it didn't help, not with the knowledge that Lucifer was out there. "Aw, Sammy, don't play so hard to get." Lucifer's voice was muffled, but every word could be clearly heard. "You used to be so easy." Sam looked up at Gabriel with horror. So much for secrets.

Gabriel just shrugged, slipping out of bed, limping across the room, and nudging Sam out of the way. He unlocked the door and cracked it open, keeping a hand flat against the door to close it quickly if needed.

"Go away, fuckface." He snarled. 

"Hi, little brother, I'll share him if you want to try him out." Lucifer was laughing, and despite how he hated it, Sam was shaking. 

"Sam Winchester is not yours. Go away."

"Or what? You'll make me." Sam felt more than saw Gabriel's flinch.

"I'll get dad."

"No—."

"Do not test me!" Gabriel's voice was suddenly shrill. "Get your ass out of here or so help me—."

"I'm going!" Lucifer shouted back. Gabriel narrowed his eyes and the hallway fell eerily quiet.

"He's gone." Gabriel closed the door, locking it with a sure hand. "Don't let him push you around, kiddo. He's got no power of you here, only the power you give him."

"Y-y." Sam stopped and tried again. "You didn't have to do that." Gabriel leveled him with a look that reconfirmed that oh yes, Gabriel did indeed need to it intervene on Sam's behalf.

"Sam." The hunter felt like he was a small child for a split second. "I don't share." Sam's cheeks bloomed red as he tried to process the myriad of emotions that were rushing at him. The most confusing feeling was that of safety. He also felt oddly cherished mingled in with the shame of Gabriel hearing how Lucifer talked to him. Sam felt foolish and happy, but exhaustion was soon the most pressing sensation. Sam collapsed into his chair, legs still trembling. Gabriel gave him an unreadable look before climbing back into Sam's bed. "Let me know if you want this back."

"Sleep." Sam waved him off. He didn't want Gabriel looking at him, didn't want him seeing, really seeing Sam for just how broken he was. Gabriel opened his mouth and then shut it, making the choice to stay silent. He lay back down and Sam flipped the lights off, grateful for the darkness now.

The next morning found Sam leaving the room with trepidation. The need for a bathroom and food were greater than his fear of Lucifer. Sam had spent most of his life scared, he had learned how to push through his fears. John had seen to that. Gabriel was still asleep, so Sam left. He didn't want to talk about what had happened the night before. Gabriel didn't seem like the talkative type, but Lucifer had said some awful things. Even Dean wouldn't let those lie if he had been the one to hear them.

"I didn't think I'd see you today." Speaking of Dean not letting things lie. Sam grunted in return as he yanked the fridge open. "You want to tell me why Gabriel is in your room or are you just going to continue to pretend I don't exist?"

"The latter is sounding pretty great." Sam grabbed a banana, peeling it quickly from tip down to the stem.

"Why can't you open that normally?"

"This is the way apes open bananas, Dean. Who's to say humans are the ones opening them abnormally?"

"You're a freak." Dean cracked a smile. "So what's going on with you and Gabriel?"

"He needed a safe place."

"And it just had to be your room?" Dean quirked up an eyebrow. "Seriously, Sam, what is it with you and archangels? They say they want to fuck you and you turn into their little bitch right away." Sam stiffened, drawing up to his full height. He grabbed the milk out of the fridge, two bowls, two spoons and a box of cereal out of the cupboards. "Sam!" But Sam wounds turn around, wouldn't look at Dean. He just headed straight back to his room. Dean watched him go, huffing out a sigh at his stubborn little brother.

"You're dumb." Dean jumped a little as Gabriel limped in. 

"Excuse me, short stack?"

"Lucifer hurt Sam in every possible way. Sam wasn't willing for any of it." He blinked his round golden eyes, his face still sunken from malnutrition.

"I didn't say he did." Dean folded his arms. Gabriel raised his eyebrows and made a face, grabbing two cups and the orange juice, following Sam's steps. "Bring that stuff back when you're done!" Dean hollered after him. Gabriel's words had made him think, but they had also sparked a little insecurity and jealousy. Why was Sam telling Gabriel instead of Dean what Lucifer had done? Dean had joked around about it, trying to get Sam to open up, but all he ever got was silence. Which now that he thought about it, Sam wanted to talk about everything but not that was pretty odd. 

Dean didn't want to think about that for too long, didn't want to think of the implications Gabriel had given, the implications he himself had given. Dean liked to think he was a safe place for Sam. Sammy could tell him anything. Dean just wanted to make sure Gabriel wasn't like Ruby all over again. He couldn't watch Sam destroy himself again.

"Gabriel is good for Sam." Castiel remarked as he walked into the kitchen. It was a miracle alone that he walked in instead of snapping himself in.

"Is he though?"

"Sam has carried many burdens and secrets. He never meant for Gabriel to know any of them, but certain things came to light."

"How do you know?"

"Sam thinks very loud." Castiel sighed. "I try to give him privacy, but I cannot ignore everything. Lucifer harassed him last night."

"What?!" Dean's hand went to his gun.

"Gabriel chased him off."

"But he's human..."

"He played the 'I'm going to tell Dad' card." Castiel smirked a little at that. Dean was incredulous, green eyes wide. His hand dropped from his gun and back to the pan.

"That worked?" 

"Of course. It gives you a glimpse of what it must have been like when they were all fighting in heaven, doesn't it?" Castiel full out smiled. "These great archangels who slayed so many great enemies like they were but dust, fighting like human children about who gets daddy's attention. Makes you realize why I threw my lot in with you, Dean."

"Hm?" Dean wanted to know but didn't want to know all at the same time. 

"Humanity. Why I sided with humanity."

"You said me."

"Well, that seems to be another conversation entirely." And that was putting it delicately. "I'll return for breakfast, Dean. There is something I must see to."

"Yea, yea." Dean nodded at the familiar rustling of wings. "Leave when I'm finally ready to talk, of course. Yea, good talk." He muttered under his breath, knowing full well that Castiel was listening. It didn't matter. Castiel didn't come right back. And for whatever reason, that hurt more than when he brushed his hand against the pan on accident.

"Fun morning." Gabriel remarked in a chipper voice by the time he finally got back to Sam's room. Walking was not as fun as snapping himself into existence, although his presence seemed to have the same affect on Sam regardless. "Dean seems as obtuse as usual." Sam gave him a baleful look and Gabriel preened under the attention. He had learned a long time ago: negative attention was better than no attention at all.

"Cereal's on the bed." Sam grunted, going back to his trusty chair.

"You don't strike me like the cereal type."

"I probably don't strike you as a bitch either."

"Whoa, can the bitterness, I'm not your brother. I'm also not my brother either." A look that only be described as serious flashed across Gabriel's face. Sam shivered.

"I know you heard what Lucifer said, so stop pretending you didn't." Sam's shoulders were hunched up and the hand that held his bowl was white-knuckled. Sam had nerves of steel, a life as a hunter had proved that, but something about Gabriel knowing 'the truth' unnerved him.

"I'm not pretending anything." Gabriel half-snarled, a little offended that Sam thought he was lying. A trickster, yes, he was a trickster, but being a liar had always been Lucifer's department. They didn't call him the Father of Lies for nothing. Luci could make drowning sound like a fun water park attraction if someone gave him the time of day. "Sam." Gabriel saw through that look of doubt. "I know we're not friends, but did you really think I was going to treat you different if I knew what I know now?" Sam set his jaw. "All I learned last night was that my brother is an asshole and that you are the strongest man I know. And I've traveled around." Gabriel folded his arms across his chest. "So you can either sulk in the corner and pretend I don't exist or we can have a nice breakfast of orange juice and," Gabriel squinted at the cereal box, his human body suddenly somewhat visually impaired, "cinnamon toast crunch. What's it going to be? Hmm?" He leaned back, studying Sam's cautious expression.

"Breakfast." Sam slowly relented, the whiteness slowly leaving his knuckles.

"Well, come on over, neighbor. There's more than enough room." Gabriel patted the end of Sam's bed. "It's yours anyway." Sam managed a smile at that as Gabriel pointedly shrugged, scooting back to make more room. They spent the rest of the morning starting over. It was not quite the "hi, my name is," but it was still a new beginning. It was a good day overall, Sam finding that he quite enjoyed Gabriel's company and that the feeling was mutual.

"I'm leaving." Chuck announced at dinner. Sam made eye contact across the table at Gabriel who didn't need to be angelic to feel the panic coming off from the younger hunter. Castiel glanced over with concern and Lucifer smirked, not even bothering to look. He knew Sam was thinking about him. He knew Sam was freaking out because of him. Dean felt relieved, one down, two more to go in his book. 

"Why?" Castiel asked.

"It's Amara. She's asked me to go on a trip with her, a retreat, a sibling therapy session around the galaxies. I said yes. We could use the reconnection. We've been at odds for too long."

"But—." Sam was cut off by Dean raising his beer bottle.

"Here, here. You two enjoy yourselves." Dean squinted his eyes in a mock smile. "Take a nice, long vacation." He nodded, clicking his tongue. He could feel Sam giving him 'the look,' but when he glanced over at Castiel, a similar but subtilely different on his pretty face. "What? I'm wishing him a good trip," 

"Dean, shut up." Castiel leaned over, his breath suddenly hot against Dean's neck. Dean glanced over at him and shut his mouth. 

"If you guys need anything, just call." Chuck stood up and shrugged, smiling nervously. He locked eyes with Sam and nodded once. And then he vanished. 

"Great." Gabriel groaned.

"I guess it's just you and me in the ring, little bro." Lucifer grinned over at him, looking very much like the cat who are the canary. "It's just like old times: I wonder who will win."

"You're dumb."

"Let's say we sweeten the deal. Let's make Sammy the prize."

"Like hell." Deans gun was out, but Lucifer sent it flying with a waggle of his fingers. 

"You know, Dean, you need melted archangel blade bullets to hurt me, right?" He leaned forward. "I'm not the bad guy here. I'm just bored. There's no Auntie Amara to fight anymore."

"Because you were so great at that." Castiel said dryly, matching Lucifer's position, protecting his family, his real family. Lucifer bared his teeth, but Castiel didn't back down. "Daddy still has your wings clipped." Castiel's tone was mocking, an unfamiliar tone for the Winchesters to hear. Castiel's shakiness seemed to be evaporating as he stared Lucifer down. 

"Anyway, as I was saying." Lucifer flopped back in his chair, making his tone return to normal. "I'm bored. And Sam is my very favorite thing to do when I'm bored. Isn't that right, Sammy?" He turned to Sam with a grin.

"Excuse me." Sam hurriedly got up from the table, nearly tripping over his own two feet as he fled the room.

"Pity." Lucifer watched him go with a wolfish look in his crystal blue eyes. "I thought we had a connection."

"Leave him alone." Dean pushed back his chair. "I don't care if these bullets," he tapped his gun, "won't do the trick. If you don't leave Sam alone, I will find a way to kill you."

"Why, Dean, I thought we were all in this together."

"Not when you keep talking about him like-like—."

"He's nothing but a scrap of meat to be thoroughly enjoyed? Oh, but he is, Dean, Sam really is. Delicious through and through."

"Stop!" Gabriel stood up too. "Sam is not yours. He never will be!"

"You gonna draw your blade and fight me? Oh, wait, you can't get it up anymore, can you?" Lucifer taunted. "You'll never be able to satisfy him the way you are now. You're nothing but a weak human."

"Better than than a prick like you." Gabriel grumbled. "I'm going to go check on Sam." He stalked/limped away, slowly making his way to Sam's room. Funny how that room what starting to feel like his too. "Knock knock." He peeked his head in to see Sam roughly wipe his eyes: the telltale pink rims gave Sam's tears away. 

"You're supposed to wait until I say you can come in." Sam sniffled.

"I didn't know if you'd let me in."

"I don't know if I would either." Sam admitted. "But you're here now. What do you want?" He winced. "I mean why are you here?"

"Checking on you." Gabriel shrugged. "I don't like seeing him get to you like that."

"And how do you propose I stop him?! Like he pointed out, every weapon we have is useless against him. We can't trap him in holy oil forever." Gabriel shuddered at the mention of holy oil. He had spent too long trapped and exposed to that particular weapon. He could still smell his flesh burning, the smell of singed feathers...

"You've thought of it." He joked, trying to keep the mood light. 

"Yea." Sam's sigh was deep. "I don't know what to do, Gabriel. I can't keep living like this."

"I get that." Gabriel said carefully after the implications of what Sam had just said hung between them for an uneasy moment. "That's how I felt when Metatron had me locked up and helpless. I wished for death, anything but that endless torture."

"Yea." Sam bobbed his head. "But you made it."

"Barely. Rescued by a dad who knew where I was this whole time."

"He did?"

"Sam, don't play dumb. Of course, he knew. You don't get to be called omniscient for nothing. No, he probably saw there was a greater purpose in my suffering, wanted me to learn from it."

"That must suck." Sam swallowed hard. He didn't know what to say. At least if Dean knew Sam was trapped somewhere, heaven and earth would be moved until Sam was safe or Dean was dead. Sam couldn't imagine Dean just leaving him like that.

"It's not all bad. It's helping right now, ain't it?"

"Yea," Sam realized, "but still, that's awful."

"His ways aren't our ways, Samwise, but they do eventually make sense. I can say that, I lived with the guy for literally thousands of years. Things do work out. Although I'll confess I didn't see this coming."

"What? Moping on my bed like a bunch of teenagers?"

"Can I braid your hair next?" Gabriel was quick with the jokes, something Sam found himself grateful for. Sam ran a hand over his hair as if he was checking for it.

"Lucifer... He used to tear it out. In the cage."

"I won't touch your hair." Gabriel promised, putting his hands in the air. "Not without permission."

"And what about my ass?" There was a challenge in Sam's hazel eyes, that fire Gabriel had missed seeing. Sam was still in there; Sam was just wounded; Sam needed to heal.

"Same goes for your ass or any part of you. No touchy unless you ask-y." Gabriel offered up a genuine smile, one that made his eyes crinkle up around the edges. 

"You mean it?" Gabriel nodded, focusing some of the last bits of his dying grace at manifesting his angel blade. "Archangel's honor." He handed the blade over. "This one is the real deal, but it'll do you more good than me. Anything could kill me now." He gave Sam a pointed look. "Use it on any bastard that can't respect the word 'no.'"

"Even—?"

"Especially." Gabriel was gentle but firm. "I chose my side the day I sided with you and Dean. I'll keep that side until I die. No one should have to deal with the shit Lucifer had put you through, and you certainly shouldn't be left like feeling there's nothing you can do about it. I've given you the weapon, it's up to you now."

"You've given me more than that." Sam tilted the blade around in his hands, taking it all in, handling the blade with the awe and respect it deserved. "You've given me the element of surprise." When Sam lifted his eyes, Gabriel noticed something there that wasn't there before. Hope. Gabriel had also given Sam hope.


End file.
